Fears

It's 1:38 in the morning and I am exhausted. I'm unwillingly being kept awake by this nagging feeling of wanting to talk and the daunting reality of my own fears. I've realized that there are three things that I am equally most afraid of in this world:

• Never figuring out my purpose, passion and drive in life. I've spent so much of my life following the paths that others set for me that I can no longer distinguish between my own desires and the ones that were fed to me. This is the one that frustrates me the most because I know that I still have time to change this, to truly discover my desires, but I have no clue where to begin searching. 

• Ending up alone. I've always been one of those people who never had real trouble making friends or attracting guys. I have an amazing man in my life now...its just so hard completely recovering from being hurt in the past. The vile residue of distrust lingers on and on...and it causes me to do things that I shouldn't do all for the sake of not being hurt. The truth is these new behaviors hurt everyone including myself...I don't want this to cause me to be alone because I am so afraid to trust.

• That the world will jade me to the point that I lose all of the goodness I once possessed. Sometimes life gets that bad. 

All in all, I am a product of my past and the brainchild of my future. Only I can conquer these fears and turn these - into +. Am I strong enough?